4 exercises — asking for feedback, using data when raising concerns, discussing promotion readiness, and giving upward feedback to your manager.
0 / 4 completed
1:1 language essentials
Feedback ask: "Is there anything I could be doing differently or improving on?"
Raise concern: Use specific data + business impact + proposed solution
Promotion: "I've been operating at Senior level on [X, Y] — what would you need to see?"
Upward feedback: "I/we" not "you"; specific event, not pattern; offer an easy solution
Come solution-ready — managers respond better to proposals than complaints
1 / 4
Your manager asks: "How do you think things are going for you at the moment?" You want to ask for specific feedback on your performance. Which response is most effective?
Option C is the ideal 1:1 feedback request because it:
Opens positively: "Overall I feel good" — you're not just fishing for compliments or signalling insecurity Makes a specific, actionable ask: "Is there anything I could be doing differently?" — direct enough that the manager can't give a vague answer Adds a growth dimension: "Are there any areas where you'd like to see more growth?" — shows ambition, not just defensiveness
Why the others fail: A — "Working hard and learning a lot" is not feedback-seeking; it's a statement that invites the manager to close the topic B — This puts the manager on the defensive ("am I failing to give you feedback?") rather than inviting a dialogue D — "Score" language trivialises performance feedback; it also presumes a formal review process that may not exist
Powerful 1:1 feedback questions: • "Is there anything I could have done differently on [specific project]?" • "What would make me more effective in my role?" • "If you could change one thing about how I work, what would it be?" • "Where do you think I'm closest to the next level, and where am I furthest away?"
2 / 4
You want to raise a concern about the team's on-call rotation being unsustainable. You're talking to your manager in a 1:1. Which approach is best?
Option C is model 1:1 feedback delivery. It follows the SBI + Proposal framework:
Situation: "over the last three months" — time-bounded, not vague Behaviour/Data: "paged 23 times, six were false positives" — objective data, not feelings or opinions Impact: "unsustainable, could lead to burnout" — states consequences for the business, not just personal discomfort Proposal: "I have ideas for improving alert thresholds — would it be worth scheduling a review?" — comes solution-ready, not just problem-presenting
Why the others fail: A — "Everyone hates it" is an unsubstantiated generalisation; your manager can't act on "everyone" B — "I don't want to" frames it purely as personal preference; your manager's job is harder when you aren't connecting it to a business risk D — Vague "other companies" examples without specifics sound like complaints, not proposals
The magic phrase for raising concerns with managers: "I'd like to raise a concern about [specific thing]. The data I'm seeing is [observable facts]. My concern is [business risk]. I have some ideas — can we talk through them?"
3 / 4
You believe you're ready for a promotion to Senior Developer. How do you open the conversation about it in a 1:1?
Option C is the professional promotion conversation opener. Here's why it works:
States readiness with evidence: "Based on [specific projects], I've been operating at that level for some time" — not just "I want it"; you're making a case Frames it as a collaborative process: "I'd love to understand the criteria" — you're inviting the manager to be your partner in this, not putting them on the spot Shows commitment-readiness: "What would you need to see from me?" — signals you're willing to do the work, not just waiting to be promoted
Why the others fail: A — "I deserve" is inherently adversarial; "can we discuss salary" conflates promotion (role scope) with compensation (separate conversation) B — Comparing yourself to others is a workplace negative; it sounds resentful and doesn't make a case for your own merit D — Market comparison without a direct case for your own value is weak; and mixing this into a regular 1:1 without setup is jarring
Preparing your promotion case: 1. Name 2-3 specific projects where you operated at the next level 2. Quantify the impact where possible 3. Show you've already been doing the job, not just asking for the title 4. Ask for criteria — "What would success at the Senior level look like?"
4 / 4
Your manager frequently changes priorities without explanation, which causes confusion for the team. You want to give them upward feedback in your 1:1. Which approach is most effective?
Option C is the model for upward feedback — one of the hardest things to do well in a professional context:
Uses "I" framing, not "you" blame: "It becomes difficult for the team" — not "you make it confusing" Uses a specific example: "last week's switch from payment integration to reporting" — makes it concrete, not a vague pattern States the specific impact: "difficult to understand the reasoning and maintain focus" — connects it to outcomes Offers a minimal, easy solution: "a two-line Slack message" — immediately actionable, very low friction
Why the others fail: A — "You keep changing" and "confusing everyone" is accusatory and passive-aggressive; even if accurate, it triggers defensiveness B — Hiding behind "the team is unhappy" is cowardly; own your feedback ("I want to share feedback") D — Comparing your manager unfavourably to "other managers" is insulting unless used carefully with data
Upward feedback framework: "I wanted to share some feedback about [behaviour, not person]. When [observable event], it [specific impact]. I wonder if [low-friction solution] might help. What do you think?"